Dear, there's been an accident
I borrowed you my heart for just a minute
Yet it seems that you somehow got stuck in it

I'm on the pavement
Lost and afraid and
Broken and braided and you have to admit, it was a

Mad affair to move with all the subtlety of the electric chair
I'd hate to have you think that I didn't care
But I didn't care
And I don't know my own left hand anymore

I'm in the zone, but I really only love you when we're
On the phone
I only ever call when I feel alone, that's my #1 weakness
(Can you hear me now?) Dear, yes I can, but
I'm not home, as you can glean from the ring of the dialtone
You're a burden, just leave me alone
'Cause I need to think
And I know that you just want to bone, AH

I've got a dossier on you, it says you're nothing but a no-good, pedant, ever-loving son of an absentee mother with a hateful brother and a guilty conscience about it all
I wanna love you--but I can't
I wanna quit you--but I can't
I'd rather hurt you now than forever
Maybe someday we can get back together
(Hahahahahaha NO)

Well I'm down to bone,
But I really only love you when we're on the phone,
And I only ever call when I feel alone, that's my #1 weakness
(Can you hear me now?) Dear, yes I can but
I'm not home, as you can glean from the scream of the dialtone
You're a burden, just leave me alone
Leave me alone

In a month, you were out of my system
Then I found a brand-new victim
Somehow who would treat me better
Now I get to forget you forever
('Cause I was so alone) I was so alone
(I was so alone) I didn't want to bone
(Didn't want to bone) And you,
You never-ever-ever picked up the phone
And I'm on the phone, but I really only loved you we're on the phone
(I only ever loved you we're on the phone) On the phone--
I only ever loved you we're on the phone (And I only ever loved you when we're)
On the phone, I only ever loved you when we're on the phone (only ever loved you when we're)
On the phone
On the phone